The One
by Insidiously
Summary: Chainshipping Fic. Adam Faulkner has finally gotten his life together, but he can't seem to let go of the past. Will he ever be the same? Fluff. Rated for language and sexual overtones.
1. Lustful Kisses

**A/N: So, this was originally going to be a oneshot, but I decided against it. I am writing this a little different then my other stories. It is alternating from Adam's POV, to third person. It's a tad bit OOC, but oh well. Wrote this out of boredom, so it's not the greatest and it's a bit fluffy, but doesn't everyone love fluff? You'll notice that the girl in this doesn't have a name mentioned. I did that purposely, just so you know. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Saw, do you think Adam would be dead? I think not..**

She was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. The way her long, slender figure hit the sheets every night beside me, it was like poetry. In my time without her I had forgotten what it had felt like to hold her, and the scent that covered her. Like stale coffee, cigarettes and strawberries… it was a deadly combination. After my escape from the bathroom, she had come crawling back to me. Well, not exactly crawling, more like showing up at my apartment with a six-pack and a movie, acting like we had never broken up. That was okay with me, I would much rather have her, or any company, then be alone. The media attention that Lawrence and I received upon our getaway was overwhelming; I guess it was enough to draw her back to me. She had always been a sucker for attention. I remember the day I got out like it was yesterday: the sirens outside wailing their perfect song, the blue and red flames that danced along the door of my prison as the police officers cut their way too me. And Lawrence's promise, the promise he kept at all costs.

It had been five months since then, and I hadn't seen Lawrence since our trip to the hospital. We rode the whole way together in the back of an ambulance. His dis-coloured face and piercing blue eyes never leaving my brown ones. We had held hands the entire way and I had never felt so close to someone in my entire life. Lawrence. His name still tastes sweet upon my lips.

Anyway, when she came back to me, I remember the feeling of relief that washed over me. The knowledge that I wouldn't have to stay alone tonight. That was what excited me most of all, not the fact that the girl who I though I loved took me back, not the skimpy low cut shirt she was wearing, but the fact that I would be protected. It was the fact that I would have someone to hold, and to hold me back, someone to love that made me peaceful. Was it really so wrong that I wished it was Lawrence? I mean, we had gone through it all _together_, so isn't it normal? Is it normal that when she threw her arms around me, bushed her lips against mine swiftly and whispered "I love you Adam Faulkner." Into my mouth, I saw him. I realized as she melted into me that I finally had something going for me. But why did I imagine Lawrence's face instead of hers?

That is the question I am constantly asking myself. Even now, as I look down unto my chest and see her head laying their, her purple and black choppy hair tickling my bare torso, I cannot help but see Lawrence's blonde wisps instead, and his alluring lips. It's pathetic, I know, but I can't seem to let go of him.

- - - - - -

Adam woke up to a low humming sound coming from beside his bed. He turned his head and was greeted by a blinking alarm clock. He moaned softly, and reached to hit the snooze button; carefully avoiding waking up the girl he was next to. Just as his hand brushed against the clock, he felt long finger nails scratch along his arm. He looked down beside him, a pail face looking back. She smiled briefly and yawned, her chin length hair flowing along her cheekbones.

"Leave it." She muttered, crawling out of bed. Adam couldn't help but stare at her body. She was wearing one of his old sports shirts that came to just above her knee. Some how, she made it look like a designer dress. "We have to go soon. I want you ready by 9:30" she continued, pulling on a pair of jeans from the floor. Adam nodded and opened his mouth to question why, but she cut him off with a quick glare. "It's a surprise."

Adam smiled lightly and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He ran his fingers though his tussled hair a few times, watching the clock beside him count down the seconds. He didn't really like surprises. Adam rose from his seat and crossed to the closet on the opposite side of the room. Absently leafing through the few clean shirts that hung inside, he sighed, not really wanting to do anything but go back to bed. His girl came from behind him and placed her hands lightly on his chest.

"I like the white shirt on you." She breathed in his ear before kissing his neck and continuing to get ready. Absently, Adam reached for the shirt and slipped it over his bare chest. He then grabbed a pair of blue jeans before walking into the kitchen to have a cigarette. As he inhaled the grey smoke he watched her frantically running around his apartment, trying to get ready. It was a bad habit, he knew, but there was no way in hell he was going to stop. Three and a half smokes later, she grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door.

- - - - - -

We have been walking for hours, it seems. Why, oh why couldn't we have ridden the bus like normal people? Why did she insist that they had a _long_ romantic walk together? Sure, it had been nice for the first ten minutes or so, holding hands, her chattering on about something or another while I added the occasional sarcastic comment, but after the first forty minutes, I basically had enough. We had to stop every hundred feet or so for me to catch my breath. Smoker's lungs. I am not even sure why I agreed to come along on this little adventure anyway. It's not as if I needed the exercise (okay, well that's not entirely true, obviously). But out of all the things we could have done, why would we have to walk? We were accomplishing absolutely nothing, short of giving me a pre-mature death. Could she tell I wasn't thinking of her when we lay in bed together and was in turn trying to kill me? I chuckled to myself. That would explain a lot. Her voice interrupted my thoughts, telling me that we were almost there. I smile through gritted teeth and nodded a yes. Almost there. Fucking finally.

- - - - - -

She grabbed his hand and pulled him along the sidewalk into a grassy park; smiling bigger then Adam had ever seen her smile before. "Come on Faulkner, your so slow." She teased, pulling him deeper and deeper into the trees. Suddenly she stopped and pushed him against one of the trunks. Adam felt her lips glide lustfully over his own and he ran his fingers along her neck. She sighed wistfully into him, and pressed her body against his. Her nails were digging into the back of his neck. She bit down on his bottom lip playfully before pulling back, winking at him.

"Surprise." She laughed, and motioned to a blanket set up beside them that he hadn't noticed before. A picnic basket lay beside it.

"What the fuck-"Adam began, but he was quickly cut off, not by his girlfriend, but by another.

"Adam!" The voice rang, full of desperation.

**A/N #2: If you want more, please review. I am planning on continuing this, but don't have mass amounts of time, so it will only happen if I know people are reading! Thanks guys!**


	2. Pathetic Reality

**A/N: Hello all! I am going away for the weekend, so I really wanted to get a new chapter to both of my stories (this and 'The Last of Adam' up, but so far, only this is ready. Anyway, this chapter gets a tad bit sappy at the end, but whatever. It was fun to write. Enjoy!**

**Dedication: To ****IAmMadlyInLoveWithJohnnyDepp****, because she reviews basically everything I write (for one) and two, I think she is just pretty super. Also, because she is just as obsessed with Adam as me, so that's always a plus! Cheers!**

'Oh, fuck.' Was all I could think as my heart jumped into my throat. 'Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.' I didn't have to turn around to know who the voice belonged to. It was the same voice that had been littering my dreams and thoughts for the last five months. The same voice that called to me in the bathroom in some final attempted to assure me. The same voice that saved my life.

"Adam!" The voice flowed from my back. I clenched my jaw and turned around, immediately being encased in a large and overwhelming hug. I barley had enough time to wrap my arms around him before we broke apart, and he had me by the shoulders looking at me with those crystal blue eyes I loved so much. Under any other circumstances, I would have probably died right there, but I could feel my girlfriend's eyes boring into the back of my neck and I could feel that my knees were shaking, like they always do when I'm terrified. But why was I so scared? I just bumped into a friend at the park, nothing scary about that. I felt a warm blush creep over my face. He pulled me into another hug.

- - - - - - -

"It really has been to long." Lawrence mumbled as his hands traced along Adam's back, finally letting go. A perfect smile radiated from the doctors face, his blue eyes sparkling more then ever. Adam smiled sheepishly and nodded towered the girl on his left.

"Uh, Lawrence.. This is my girlfr-" Adam began, but was briefly cut off by the girl.

"I'm his girlfriend." The woman started, wiping a lock of purple hair from her thickly made-over eye. "Danielle." She wretched her hand towards Lawrence, who took it and shook politely.

"Oh…" His voice trailed off, and Adam's noticeably red face fumed into a deep crimson. Lawrence winked at him and stated his name, occupation and a few other details that no one really paid any attention too.

"The doctor from the bathroom!" Danielle continued on, lightly nudging Adam out of the way, her eyes immediately sliding to his feet. "You're the one that.."

"Yes," Lawrence said harshly, obviously growing tiered of the conversation already, "It's mush better now. I, uh, have some sway at the hospital and they were able to get me fitted for a mechanical foot almost right away."

Both Adam and Danielle nodded. Adam casually slipped his hands into his pocket and tapped his foot on the ground to a beat only he could hear.

"So, how are you?" Lawrence ventured, turning his attention to Adam once more. The boy looked up, and mumbled something under his breath. Danielle shot him a look of venom.

"What the hell is wrong with you Adam?" She sighed, and glanced at the blanket she had already set up. "Go talk with you're…" She looked Lawrence up and down, her eyes once again lingering on his foot. "…Doctor Friend, I need to get this all set up anyway."

She gave him a gentle shove in the shoulder and set to work, opening containers and laying out juice boxes. Adam looked up at Lawrence who gave him a reassuring nod and set of down the grass. The two men walked in silence for a couple of minutes, both just feeling each other's presence. Adam's eyes shifted from the ground, to Lawrence's face, then back to the ground. The Doctor smiled lightly when he noticed. After a bit of time, they came along a park bench, Adam stopped and sat down. He didn't particularly want Lawrence to know how out of shape he was. Lawrence sat down beside him and watched as Adam lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, a temporary look of satisfaction washing over his face.

"Its going to kill you, you know." Lawrence mumbled, letting the inner doctor in him prevail. Adam's blissful look disappeared and he looked upon the cigarette in his hand with despise.

"Yeah, well…" Adam shrugged. He had tried quitting before, but somehow he always ended up with a cancer stick in between his lips. Adam lifted the cigarette to his mouth and took another drag. Lawrence shook his head and grinned, allowing his blonde hair to caress his face. Adam couldn't take his eyes off of him.

- - - - - - -

Why the hell am I feeling this way? Why am I acting like this? If it had been anyone else other then him criticizing my smoking habits, I would have flipped them off and carried on my grand why. Why does he make me feel like I can do anything, if I put my mind to it. Oh my fucking God, I shouldn't want him. I shouldn't even be here. We are friends, that's all. What would he say if he knew what you were thinking right now? I am so pathetic.

"Uh, Adam?" His voice interrupts my thoughts. It is only then that I realize I had been staring at him with a look on my face that probably made me look like a mental patent. I felt my blush return.

"Yeah, sorry I…" I manage to say, "I was thinking of… stuff. I was thinking of stuff." Way to go Adam, you sound like a ten year lying to their mother. I am absolutely useless. Lawrence's soft chuckling filled my ears and I felt his warm palm glide over my arm.

"Same old Adam." He smirked. Oh great, so I sound like this all the time?

"How's Allison?" I begin, unable to think of anything better to say. A grave look crossed Lawrence's face.

"We're, uh, getting a divorce actually." Lawrence explained. My heart jumped a little and it took all I could to keep from smiling foolishly. What kind of person am I if I get pleasure out of something like this. Oh fuck. "… She says she can't deal with me anymore. That I have been different since I've come out of the bathroom, just not in the way she had hoped…" His voice trailed off and he shifted his arms over his chest.

"God, I'm… I'm so sorry Lawrence." I offered and took his hand, my fingers gripping his. Just touching him made my heart beat faster.

"I'm not, really." He replied, never letting go of my hand, "It was… time, if you know what I mean.

I nodded softly and watched as wiped a stray tear from his eye. Before I could really think about what I was doing, I had wrapped him in my arms and was stroking his hair as he cried into my shoulder. Having him there so closed to me, we had a connection, the same one I had felt in the ambulance. He really was the only person I ever truly wanted to hold, and for now, I could do so without being ridiculed. Without him growing suspicious. I hoped my body language would say what I didn't want it to. That I wanted to be with him. That I was falling for him. That it would say the words I dared not speak. Lawrence had a hand on my neck by now, and his cheek was on mine. I never wanted to let go.

**Okay folks, its time to click that little old button that I love so much. Things are about to get rather steamy around here with our two leading men… but only if I get those reviews, ha ha! Please, please, pretty please? Thanks everyone!**


	3. Overwhelming

I breathed in the crisp scent of his cotton shirt, rubbing my neck upon it

**A/N: Okay.. So the ending little bit was a bit rushed, so it's not very good, but it has been forever since I have posted a new chapter so I wanted to get it up. There is a slight change as well, I used Lawrence's POV for the first bit of this chapter. Though I would try something new, plus I knew everyone would want to see what our dear Larry was thinking. Thanks everyone for your support! It's been amazing.. Enjoy guys!**

I breathed in the smoky scent of his cotton shirt, rubbing my neck upon the collar. It feels so… natural to be here in his arms. To have him holding me and caressing my body in an attempt to comfort me. It was immaculate. In all my years as a married man, I had never fallen this deep into love, never fallen this hard for another human being. And now here I am loving another man like he was all I had in the world. In all truth, the boy really is all I have left. It is a daily struggle to keep myself from revealing the truth. I assume it is probably the same way for him. Although it is obvious he is trying to hide it, I can somehow tell that Adam wants me… maybe even as I want him. Aly saw it too. Much to my dismay, she could see my daily fantasies of holding Adam in my arms and revealing my secret passion to him. Well he I am and it is taking all of me to keep from tearing off his clothes right now.

Light butterflies fluttered in my abdomen as I let tear after silent tear fall unto Adam's shoulder. All of the pain I had welled up inside of me vanished into thin air as I sat there in his grip. I took a deep breath and tried to memorize the way his body felt against mine. It was like something straight out of a movie. The sort of perfection that only fairy tale couples know, except this was real. Too real. Instantly I regretted my decision as I let Adam slip from under my arms. I was becoming too close to the truth.

Lawrence's normally collected face immediately turned a violent shade of burgundy as the arms of the two men unlinked. Both sat with a somewhat awkward expression playing on their face and Adam smiled the feeling of Lawrence's breath still upon his neck. In the distance Danielle's piercing voice could suddenly be heard mingling with the soft spring breeze. Upon hearing it Lawrence extended his arm towards Adam and ran his fingers through the boy's silk hair. A look of bliss crossed Adam's eyes and his lips parted slightly. Both men struggled to keep their feelings under control. The doctor removed his hand and sunk it deep into his pants pocket, carefully studying Adam's face

"I should, uh, probably get back…" Adam muttered, his eyes opening and scanning the air in front of him, carefully avoiding Lawrence's gaze

Lawrence's fingers pulled at the bottom button on his shirt as he stammered his reply, "Yeah, I guess you probably should."

Adam flinched involuntarily, slowly moving his body towards Lawrence's. Again, the voyeur and the doctor hugged. Regret drifted in the air as they patted each other's backs and once more, they forced themselves apart and stood in an awkward and all too knowing silence. It was Lawrence who spoke first:

"Do you want to, uh, get together sometime?"

Adam ran his hand through his hair and grinned foolishly. "Yeah, sure."

"Okay, uh…" The doctor rubbed his temple and stood silent for a moment. Finally he replied, "When are you free? I'm basically good anytime, it's not like I have much to do anymore."

Adam nodded solemnly. "Sooner would be better then later, actually, so I could… get… to see… you… sooner…?" The boy rolled his eyes at himself and shook his head. "Fuck Lawrence, I must be going crazy. Anytime is good. Just call."

Lawrence chuckled and Adam turned and began walking back to Danielle. The boy shook his head as he fought to keep his composer. He needed to get out of there. The sooner the better.

"Adam?" Lawrence's voice rang over the boy's shoulder. Adam turned around and kicked a rock that lay by his shoe. "I don't have your number." Adam's eyes widened in embarrassment.

"Right, you probably need that if you're going to call." Adam treaded back over to the doctor who had already pulled out a pen and a compact notebook. Quickly, Adam scrawled his home number over the first sheet of paper and pushed the pad back into Lawrence's open palm. He looked up into Lawrence's eyes and found him smiling. Adam bit his lip and nodded, for some strange reason his brain had stopped working. As much as he searched for a sarcastic comment, none could be found. Suddenly, Adam felt the doctor's free hand pressed against his arm and in quick flash, the doctor had placed his warm, rosebud lips upon his cheek. The boy gulped back an urge to kiss the doctor full on the mouth, instead choosing to close his eyes and savor the moment. As Lawrence pulled away Adam felt his knees buckle and fell to the ground. When Adam regained balance and pulled himself up again, the doctor was already several feet away. Adam couldn't stop himself from shaking as he walked back to his girlfriend, his face beaming.

I can not believe it. What just happened to me…? It must be a dream. It _has_ to be a dream. There is no way that Lawrence Gordon: rich, successful, handsome, and talented Lawrence Gordon would ever want me. Ever. I am just a lowly unimportant piece of shit, what could he see in me? I couldn't possibly be what he wants. There is no way. I mean, look at me. I am in no way attractive. I wear the same bleached out clothes day in and day out, my hair is always a mess and I constantly smell of cheap cigarettes. I deserve nothing… so why is he even talking to me? What the fuck just happened?

Somewhere deep inside of me I can feel my heart beating uncontrollably. My fingers are tingling in anticipation and embarrassment, and my knees are knocking. A product of my damn nerves. Fuck. I am nothing… and yet, he kissed my cheek. He let his angelic lips glide across my scruffy skin, and didn't pull away. Am I crazy in thinking that he wants me? Maybe he feels the way I do… It's almost impossible, yes, for someone like me to earn something so grand but hey, stranger things have happened. Like living through one of Jigsaw's games. Oh my fucking God. I guess I will just have to wait for him to call… if he calls. Oh fuck, I need to get home.

**A/N #2: Helllllllo again! Okay, review time! I will ADORE you if you do! Really! I can not wait to get started on the next chapter. Will our boys be able to keep their feelings for each other bottled up much longer? My guess is no.. But what about Danielle hmmmmm? Yes, review and all shall be answered. Evil Grin Thank you!!**


	4. Somewhere Exotic

Adam awoke the next morning with a dull ache coursing across the base of his neck

**A/N: Ah, here we are my loyal readers… a nice long chapter. Finally, right? Anyway, I found this very fun to write. I was defiantly in a good mood, you can probably tell. I have gone for a total TPO approach with this chapter. Meh… Plus, there is only a hint of angst in this I'm afraid, but oh well. Plus, if you read to the end, I will reveal a rather juicy little secret! Thank you my loves!**

**Dedication: All of those great folks over at www.playrps.. A fantastic Saw RP Site, if you are looking for one.**

Adam awoke the next morning with a dull ache coursing across the base of his neck. He moaned softly and reached back to massage the tender spot. His vision was a blur of the doctor he had just been dreaming so tenderly about. Feebly, Adam pulled himself up into a sitting position and suddenly realized he was sitting on his living room couch. Adam furrowed his brow for a moment in thought before the events of the previous day filtered their way into his head. Suddenly a smile spread across Adam's lips as he remembered the light touch of a kiss upon his cheek left there by Lawrence only hours ago. Adam ran his fingers down his face onto his jawbone. Out of nowhere a deep mumble interrupted his thoughts and Adam remembered that he was not alone. His girlfriend was in the other room, in his bed. Adam suppressed a frown, attempting to clutch to the warm feeling Lawrence has allowed him to wake up too. It was gone from far too soon. The young man rubbed his eyes and lowered himself against the backrest of his ripped and tattered couch. As decrepit as it was, it really was one of the better pieces of furniture Adam owned.

Adam sighed as the less radiant of yesterday's festivities filtered themselves into the front of Adam's mind. Once regaining his composer (somewhat) after he chat with the doctor and finding his way back to Danielle, Adam had been surprised to find her smiling an all-too-beautiful-all-too-fake grin. Usually, she just yelled at him and got it over with. She blinked a few times at him while they sat in the awkward air. Finally, she ate a strawberry and asked him how his walk with the doctor had been, her voice dripping with an air of false sweetness and class.

"Fine I guess." He had replied, his eyes straying towards the ground in order to avoid her skeptical glare. "Sorry I took so long, we were… catching up."

Danielle nodded and remained quiet, carefully selecting another strawberry from the bowl in front of her. As she tucked one of her longer wisps of hair behind her ear she sighed and then grabbed Adam's arm. She took a quick glance at the threadbare watch on his wrist before pushing it under his nose.

"Do you have any idea how long you were gone?" She hissed, finally loosing her cool. She took a deep breath and smiled again. "You know what, its fine. I'm not mad."

Danielle then began to fiddle with the items laid strewn on the blanket, putting them away with mock cheerfulness. Adam had decided to risk a glance at his girlfriend, looking at her for the first time since he sat down. He watched the way she jerked her arms about, acting as if nothing was wrong. She was a terrible actress. Adam knew she was upset but couldn't help but smile at the fragile but tough figure before him.

"I'm sorry," he offered and ran his finger tips along her cheek, all the while pretending it was Lawrence's. "You know I love you."

Danielle turned and looked into Adam's soul-barring eyes. She crawled away across the spread of food and rapped her limbs around the ex-voyeur and held his face close to hers: "You know I would have you right here, right now Adam Faulkner. But, I have to go. I'm working today."

Danielle ran her lips up Adam's neck and scratched at his back. Her body was full of lust and Adam could feel it radiating through her skin. He was surprised at how little of an effect it had on him.

"Listen…" She whispered "I have to go now. Take this stuff back home and I'll give you some dessert when I get there." Danielle had placed a soft kiss on his chin, got up and walked away.

Adam shook his head and came back to the present. He finally remembered why he had been on the couch last night; he had been waiting for Lawrence to call. Adam glanced down at the pillow beside him and sure enough his phone was just visible over the crumpled fabric. No wonder Adam's neck hurt.

The boy grabbed the phone and carried it with him into the kitchen, putting it down shortly to grab an apple and a bear from the fridge. He quickly had it in his hands again. Adam took a large bite out of the crimson fruit and instantly spat it out in his hand. The apple was a mass of bruises. What the fuck was he supposed to eat?

As if reading his mind, the phone next to Adam's hand rang and Adam almost jumped right out of his chair. Surely it wouldn't be…

Adam grabbed at the phone and took a deep breath before pulling it to his ear and pressing the talk button: "Hello?"

"Adam?" A lively voice called out from the phone. Adam nodded from a moment before realizing the person on the line couldn't see him.

Adam's voice shook as he spoke, "Uh, yeah. That's me."

"Hey! Listen, I know it's short notice, but I have an hour to kill and I was wondering if you would like to catch some breakfast."

Adam's breath caught in his throat and he grinned, "Yeah, sure. Of course… Where are you? I'll come right over."

A brief laugh could be heard on the other end of the phone before Lawrence spoke again.

"Actually, I took the liberty of looking up your address." Lawrence began, "Look out your window." Adam's heart raced as he made his way to the front window. Sure enough, the doctor was standing on the sidewalk below.

"Shit, Lawrence!" Adam said to the phone and Lawrence beckoned him down. Adam waved back and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Come on, let's get some food!" Lawrence laughed, his blue eyes glinting teasingly in the sunlight.

"I'll be right down." Adam replied before hanging up the phone. The boy turned around and rested his head on the wall beside the window. "Shit…"

Adam heard a light mumble coming from his bedroom. Adam closed his eyes and sighed. He couldn't _not _go out to breakfast with Lawrence now… he had already told him he was coming. Adam rubbed his eyes and made his way to the front door, stopping only to grab his coat from the ground beside the couch. He knew that there would be hell to pay when he got back, but this time Adam didn't really care. Just this time, he didn't want Danielle with him. Adam felt his stomach tie itself into knots as he hurried down the stairs. He already felt like he was going to pass out from happiness and nerves and he hadn't even seen the doctor yet! Adam forced a deep breath upon himself before opening the front door. Lawrence's shinning face was there to meet him.

Adam's face split into a cheesy grin as Lawrence called out his name and wrapped him in a tight hug. Adam couldn't help but think of how amazing Lawrence looked, put together, clean and totally respectable. The exact opposite of himself. Adam looked at his mud splattered shoes and pulled at the t-shirt he was wearing. It was the same one he had sported the day prior, he hadn't bothered to get changed. It didn't really seem important at the time. Looking back on it now, Adam really should have taken a shower. How could he be expecting Lawrence to go out with him in public when he looked like _this_, he was greasy and unkempt. The obvious product of not giving a shit. Adam felt his cheeks glow red. Lawrence didn't seem to notice.

"Come on," The doctor grinned and lead Adam by the elbow down the chipping path that lead to the sidewalk. "I'm thinking… somewhere exotic, but with good strong coffee."

Adam couldn't help but smile at Lawrence's touch. Before long he found himself sitting opposite Lawrence at some quant little deli, a tall blonde woman nonchalantly taking his order. Adam's fingers shook as he flipped through the feeble pages of the menu before him, but he managed to keep his voice strong as he ordered 'The Cook's Special #2'. The woman looked at him strangely before rushing away to prepare the food. Adam turned to face Lawrence and was surprised to see that he was gazing at him, an odd look playing about his eyes.

"I'm glad you were able to come." Lawrence teased, "I wasn't sure if your girlfriend would let you. She seems to have you on a rather short leash." Adam's chest puffed protectively and Lawrence smiled at him, "I was only joking." His hand brushed against Adam's. After a few minutes of idle small talk the men's food finally came. Lawrence had just asked Adam how his work life was going.

"Well," Adam began, his steady voice wavering. In all honesty, Adam hadn't really been working much, his primary income coming from shooting pictures for shit teen magazines every couple of weeks. He really had no steady job. "I've been doing some magazine work actually. Lots of onset interview photos for magazines. You know…"

Lawrence took a break from scraping some sort of green jelly off his toast to look at Adam. As much as Adam wanted to, he didn't look away. The boy could tell that Lawrence knew he was fucking with him. The doctor smirked and changed the subject: "This is the last time I say we go somewhere exotic. Half of this shit I wouldn't feed my worst enemy and the other half is covered in the same shit." Adam laughed and took a bite of a grayish meat that was lying limply on his plate. Was meat supposed to taste like cabbage?

Lawrence chuckled as Adam pulled a face and spat his mouthful into his napkin. The doctor took a glance at his watch and his face dropped. Adam knew he was running out of time to spend with him.

"Listen, Adam. There is actually something I wanted to talk to you about, actually. I told you yesterday that my Aly and I fell apart, but I didn't exactly tell you why. You see…" Lawrence stopped dead in his tracks and pushed his toast around his plate with his finger. "Maybe now isn't the right time. I actually have to get going." The doctor poked around in his pocket for a moment before extracting a crisp twenty dollar bill and placing it on the table. "This should be enough."

Adam watched Lawrence in puzzlement as he gathered up his things and prepared to leave. "I wish I didn't have to go Adam, but I do. There is something I need to talk to you about though, and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do it." Lawrence walked a few paces towards Adam before stopping again. He led his palm down Adam's neck and smiled down at him: "You have my number, you can get my address." Lawrence lowered his face beside Adam's and breathed into his ear, subtly letting his lips glide against Adam's flesh.

"My house. Tonight."

**A/N #2: Ahh, so you have stayed with me too the end I see? I feel privileged. Anyway, I promised you all a juicy surprise and I always deliver: When the next chapter is posted, the rating of this story will be changed. To what, you may ask. As of chapter 5 this story will be rated 'Mature'… and of course there could only be one possible reason for that in THIS story, now couldn't there? One guess…**


	5. The Breakdown

Adam wasn't sure how long he had wandered around town on that fateful morning; struggling with the new conception that Lawrence had placed in his mind

**A/N: #1: Ahaha, well. Here it is, the big one. Um, wow… my first time writing smut. Let me tell you, it was pretty crazy. This is actually the longest chapter I have ever written for something, so.. that should tell you something. I, uh, yeah. Not my best writing by a long shot, but I think it will suffice. Enjoy!!**

**Dedication: I feel obliged to dedicate this one to IAmMadlyInLoveWithJohnnyDepp who kind of inspired me to take this leap… and who had been hanging on waiting for this chapter. Darling, this one's for you!**

**Relationship Queries: I have had a comment and a message stating that the whole smut thing probably isn't best if Adam and Lawrence are to have a long term thing.. well, I think that the bottled up feelings inside of the two of them - love and obviously lust - would just reach a boiling point and spill over. Right?**

Adam wasn't sure how long he had wandered around town on that fateful morning; struggling with the new conception that Lawrence had placed in his mind. All he could think about was the incredible peace he had felt while he was with him. His heart had stopped beating in fear, for once, instead taking on a melody representative of an entirely different emotion, one the both excited and terrified Adam but mostly just left him feeling confused. Yes, it was that emotion that drove him to walk the dull pavement until his lungs were burning for air and his knees threatened to buckle under him. Adam's breath rattled as he forced himself forward another couple feet to a paint chipped bench that stood just off of the path he was walking on. Only then did he realize the atmosphere around him was changing from bright bustling day to night. He shook himself as he took in the fading corners if sky that hung over head. Tonight was the night, he was sure, tonight was the night he would present Lawrence, as well as himself, with an ultimatum. Tonight he would not deny his true feelings.

Before Adam had realized what was happening, he was standing at the door of Lawrence's apartment waiting to be buzzed in. He didn't remember the journey here at all. Last Adam recalled he was still a good ten blocks away obsessing over what he would say, how his hair looked and all of the other trivial details that didn't really matter. Hair! Adam had been so pre-occupied with that night's upcoming festivities he had forgotten all about what he looked like…

xXxXx

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! What the hell is wrong with me? I have got to be the biggest idiot of all fucking time." I attempted to smooth down the little bits of brown hair that were sticking up on my head. I could feel my heart racing under my dirty shirt. Half of me wished I wasn't here; the other half couldn't wait to see Lawrence again. All of me knew how fucking stupid I was. Normally, it was okay for me to forget a shower before hanging out with a friend… not that that happened often… but tonight, it was different. I placed my hand on the top of my head and took a deep breath. How the hell could I have forgotten something as simple as 'go home and shower'? Damn it, I need a cigarette. My hand was half way to my pocket before I got a hold of myself. He was going to buzz me in any second, the last thing I needed was to smell like fresh smoke. A low buzzing sound echoed beside my ear and I almost had a heart attack. This was it.

With only a hint of resistance I opened the door into the lobby of Lawrence's apartment building and strolled over to the elevator. Floor four, that's what he had said only seconds before… or was it floor three? Shit, I have no idea. I surveyed the buttons carefully before deciding on floor five. He said he would meet me at the elevator door, so what have I got to loose? I can always just press another button. I'd look like an idiot yes, but whatever. I don't think the fact that I am an imbecile has been lost on Lawrence Gordon. The silvery doors slid shut and cheap elevator music was the only resource there to calm my over-excited nerves. It didn't help. Fuck.

xXxXx

As Adam's eyes squeezed shut the elevator slowed to a stop and at once the doors opened. The light, high-pitched carol that had been playing only a second before abruptly disappeared and was just as quickly replaced by the scuffing sound of plastic bags as an older, gray-haired woman entered the elevator next to Adam. Adam's nose immediately scrunched and he pushed past the woman, the scent of what had to be a dozen of so cats chased after him. Just what Adam needed, his allergies acting up. Adam stood in the deserted hall for a moment and rubbed his nose, the smell disappearing with the elevator. The boy was about to turn around and push the summoning button for the machine when a cheerful voice called out from behind. Adam smiled as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Adam…" Lawrence smiled and turned him around to face him. Adam was easily re-positioned and blushed slightly as he Lawrence studied his face. "You sure know how to dress up, don't you?" Lawrence's words were laced with humor and kindness, Adam couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, well you know me… always have an out fit for the occasion." Adam reached over to push Lawrence but instead aloud his hand to linger on his friend's shoulder. It was hard to believe that they had only started talking to each other again the day before. Lawrence shrugged out of his grip and caught Adam's elbow, slowly guiding him down the hall in the opposite direction and into his apartment.

The door opened up into what would be a slightly plain looking living room had it not been furnished with the best, most expensive furniture that Adam had ever seen. Right away a brass and marble bar caught the voyeur's eye and he made a beeline strait for it, momentarily forgetting where he was. Lawrence chuckled and followed him to it, slipping behind. Adam's eyes glazed along the dozens of liquor bottles that lined the back wall.

Lawrence cupped Adam's chin for a moment to get his attention before releasing it abruptly. He smiled and asked politely, "Could I get you anything?"

"Yes." Adam replied without thinking, noticing only then that his entire body was aching for a drink. "Beer is fine." Adam turned around to keep from saying anything else without thinking and flopped himself onto a deep brown plush leather couch that stood a couple feet from a wall-sized television. "Fuck Lawrence, enough expensive shit in this place."

Adam heard another deep chuckle emit itself from Lawrence before a sigh escaped his lips: "What else am I supposed to do with my cash? Alcohol and television: two best things in the world."

Lawrence crept out from behind the counter and threw himself next to Adam, handing him one of the two beers he had in his hands. Both of the men sat in silence for a moment, sipping on the drinks they possessed. Adam gathered himself up of the couch and sat strait, noticing that Lawrence was watching him intently. Adam's cheeks burned as he took another swig of the blessed drink. He didn't know how long he would be able to hold his feelings in.

"So…" Adam mumbled, his lips still wrapped around the bottle. Lawrence threw back his head and downed the rest of his drink before placing the empty container on the end table beside him.

"I've been meaning to talk to you actually." Lawrence stammered, instantly becoming self-conscious. He had to say what was on his mind, it had been eating him up since he first figured it out. Now was as good a time as any.

Adam smiled, he had never seen the weak side of the doctor before, he had always portrayed himself in a strong, brave manor. Adam's shoulders tensed, seeing Lawrence like this made him want to spill his guts even more then he already did.

"It's probably a good thing I ran into you, I don't know what I would have said on the phone…" Lawrence moved around uncomfortably. "I told you about my separation with Alison, but there is something I neglected to tell you. You see-"

Adam heard his voice before he realized he was speaking. Out of no where, he broke and, although the tremble in his voice was evident he had never spoken something with more force or confidence then he did at that moment: "Lawrence, I'm sorry, but I think I am falling in love with you." The boy instantly looked down at his hands. "I know it makes me sound like a complete fag, and I know I'm not the greatest package in the world, and I know right now you probably want to run for the hills or the police or put me in a fucking coffin yourself, but your all I've been able to think about for… well, for awhile now." Adam still hadn't looked up at all.

The room sat silent for all of two seconds before Lawrence's mouth was hovering over Adam's. Suddenly on his back and with Lawrence's face only an inch from his own, Adam felt like he might pass out. The doctor's breath filtered along his mouth and chin, his body was pressing against Adam's. Adam felt their legs twine and he leaned forward hungrily, eager for Lawrence's lips to press upon his own. Lawrence pulled his head back slightly and ran a hand through Adam's hair and down his jaw line.

"What did you just say?" Lawrence breathed, allowing his fingers to settle on Adam's neck. This time Adam's eyes stayed connected to the Doctor's as he murmured the three words that would change their lives again. Lawrence grinned swiftly before lowering his head down and allowing Adam to pull him into an eager, hungry kiss.

A deep sigh came from Adam as he pushed Lawrence into him. The only thing on Adam's mind was skipping through all of the sweet romantic bullshit a first kiss was supposed to be and getting strait to the good stuff. Lawrence wrapped his hands around Adam's neck and dug his nails slightly into the tender flesh, causing Adam to break free for a moment and moan blissfully into the heavy air. The voyeur returned his mouth to Lawrence and in a surge of extreme passion caused both of the men to tumble onto the floor, never unlocking their embrace. Now on top of the doctor, Adam wasted no time allowing his hands to explore the body of the man beneath him. He ran his fingers down the cheek of his love and quickly made his way down his chest, slowing slightly to rub his stomach and ribs. Oh God, he wanted him badly.

Lawrence pulled Adam's face closer to his own and ran his tongue smoothly along Adam's bottom lip. The boy sighed deeply and Lawrence took it as an invitation to force his tongue into Adam's mouth. Adam opened his eyes for a second as his palm made its way lower on Lawrence's body, stopping only inches from where Lawrence wanted him to go. Adam smiled through the kiss as he felt Lawrence's body tense and Lawrence dragged his nails down Adam's back in a silent beg for him to continue.

Adam nodded and allowed his hand to wonder further. It was Lawrence's turn to moan as Adam stroked the hardening bulge between his legs. Adam felt the Doctor's fingers hook onto the bottom of his shirt and their faces were forced apart momentarily as Lawrence pulled the sticky t-shirt off of Adam's back. Lawrence kissed his way across the now-bare collarbone of his soon-to-be lover before turning his attention once more to Adam's mouth. One hand was tracing its way down Adam's spine to his belt and Adam bucked his hips in and attempt to get his jeans off. Lawrence smirked and he used his free hand to tare the buttons off of his own shirt. Finally, after much work, the shirt came free. Bare skin collided against bare skin and all sense of what was right and wrong flew right out of the window as pure ecstasy took over.

Lawrence's back arched and Adam removed his hand before he could get too far, there was still a long night ahead of them. The boy allowed Lawrence to put him on his back once more as he ripped at Adam's zipper. Before long both men were in nothing but there boxer shorts. The Doctor forced his arms around Adam's back and neck, allowing their legs to come together. Adam grew more and more turned on with each passing second, Lawrence's knee was rubbing just the right spot between his thighs. Lawrence's lips were upon his neck has Adam closed his eyes a deep moan radiating out of him.

"Oh God…" was all Adam could manage as he sunk into a deep cloud of lust, pulsing where Lawrence's hand had been just moments before.

**A/N #2: There it is everyone, in the full! Now, you may ask, what happens to Danielle? Relationship? One night stand? You'll have to review to see… Thanks!**


	6. Control

Adam stared at the person before him with mild disgust and smiled to himself

**A/N: Hello everyone! It's been awhile. I'm sorry for the long long LONG update! Life has sucked writing wise. I've either had no time or no muse! Thanks for sticking with me! I was actually going to end this with the next chapter but I have thought of a little twist for the plot so… We are looking at 3-4ish. Woo hoo! Here's the next chapter at any rate! Enjoy.**

Adam stared at the person before him with sense of mild disgust. He had never seen this person before. Never witnessed the beaming face and joyful eyes. It was all so strange to Adam. He couldn't keep is face from splitting into a grin.

"That person right there," he said to himself, watching the being smile along with him, "Is the luckiest person in the world. He has no friends, no family… Hell, he doesn't even have a decent job! But that man has just won the fucking lottery."

Adam's smile widened as he placed his palm on his reflection. It felt cool and hard, the exact opposite of how Adam felt at the moment. A deep sigh hung in the air as the boy placed his forehead unto the back of his hand. He had never felt so open or vulnerable as he did at that moment. Not even in the bathroom. All of the walls he had built up over the years: brick by brick, façade by façade had been torn down. Adam had just let everything he had ever worked towards be ripped to shreds and he had never felt so good. No longer was Adam just a being of distress, living his life just for the sake of living it. Now Adam had a reason, a purpose. For the first time since he was a child, he felt whole.

Hell, the doctor even got him to stop smoking. Unwillingly, sure, but he had stopped… for the moment. Right now, it didn't really seem like an issue.

The boy released his tense shoulders and allowed his body to melt into the glass. The past few days since their initial encounter had been pure, white, unbreakable bliss and Adam was still high on it. He never wanted to let it go.

A heavy pounding from behind him brought Adam back down to earth and he shook his head, his thoughts leaving him.

Shrilly tender, a voice called to him through the door, "Adam get out of my fucking bathroom! You've been in there for over an hour! Some of us actually have to use the facilities!"

A bright blush crept over Adam's features but was instantly pushed away by a smirk. He could have some fun with this.

"But Larrrrry!" He protested, his voice emitting as a drilling whine, "Don't you love me?"

The knocking at the door ceased and Adam waited, slightly stunned. Gaining confidence, he boy wrapped his hand around the knob and pulled it open with caution. An empty room beckoned him forward.

"Lawrence?" Adam whispered, edging his way into the room. Only silence greeted him. Adam paused for a moment before continuing on. Out of nowhere from behind a heavy blow hit Adam in the back of his head, pushing him into the back of the couch.

"What the-" He stammered but was abruptly cut off by another swing to his chest. Instinctively Adam covered his face with his hands and rolled over the couch landing hard on the floor. Someone above him was laughing.

"That…" Lawrence said, swinging the plush pillow he was holding onto Adam's leg with no mercy. "Is to remind you who is boss around here. You think you can hog the bathroom all morning and get away with it? You thought fucking wrong."

Relinquishing his weapon to the ground Lawrence sat on the sofa, carefully avoiding Adam's shaking torso. The boy groaned and pulled himself to his feet only to be pulled instantly on top of Lawrence. Adam felt the doctor pulling his head towards his own and pushed against his body in an attempt to get away. Lawrence snickered as he brought Adam's face to his own and kissed him deeply. Forcefully sunk into a deep cavern of happiness, the boy wound his fingers through the blonde hair of the man opposite and threw his arms onto his neck. Lawrence's tongue traced Adam's bottom lip and both men moaned simultaneously. The doctor finally loosened his grip on Adam's back to choose a new stance and Adam used the moment of weakness to break their kiss. He sunk into the seat next to Lawrence and smiled.

Lawrence whipped a blond wisp of hair out of his piercing eyes and stared at Adam. He felt him squirm under his appraising glare and his heart jumped slightly. Adam was still shy around him. Taking the boy's hand he studied the expressionless face and grinned.

"What are you thinking?" Lawrence ventured, tightening his grip on the boy's fist. Adam shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head forward to meet the doctor's gaze.

"Revenge." He stated plainly before launching himself at Lawrence's chest at lightning speed, stopping only to smother every inch of bare skin with kisses. The elder of the two snickered approvingly before holding Adam's head still in his palms. Lawrence stroked Adam's chocolate, tousled hair affectionately as he bit down on his lip. He was suddenly serious.

"We have to talk."

Adam's lustful smile disappeared as he struggled back into his former position. Once again, the boy couldn't meet the eyes of his counter part. There was an edge in Lawrence's voice that encased the room in an uncomfortable silence. Lawrence was the first to break it:

"It's about Danielle…" He murmured, regaining Adam's hand. This time his palm was surface up, a thin layer of sweat swept along it. "I think… Well, it would only be fair to… You're planning on staying with me?"

The question caught Adam off guard. His chiseled brow furrowed in anxiety and for one brief moment the wall began building itself again. Adam shook his head, ready to tare it down instantaneously.

"Of course I am, idiot. What did you think? I was just here to be your fucking booty call?" Adam's voice was rimmed with hurt. The doctor stroked his hand reassuringly.

"Of course not… It was just my stupid way of stating the obvious." Lawrence grumbled and waited for the boy's response. Adam's mouth stayed firmly closed and the doctor sighed. "I think you need to see her." Adam's jaw fell open.

"Who? The psycho bitch that probably wants my fucking head on a platter?"

Lawrence had heard enough stories from Adam to know that asking him to visit his… Not technically ex-girlfriend was more then a hassle… It was a death sentence.

Nodding, the doctor continued on: "I know it's not high on your priority list but I think you need… closure." Lawrence waited for Adam's wrath to unfold. Much to his surprise, the boy nodded. A heavy relief washed over Lawrence as he watched a haunting smile adapt from Adam's features.

Adam chuckled softly at the confused look in Lawrence's eyes before crawling on top of his torso and kissing him deeply.

"That," He mused, "Will finally give me a chance to get some fucking tobacco!" He had a good three seconds of laughter before the pillow met his face once more.

**I know, I know. The ending is fairly weak. I'm sorry, but I am KILLING myself attempting to work my way through this block! Damn… Well, review? It would really cheer me up! Thanks.**

**Oh, and as if I didn't need anything else to interfere with my update schedule, I am going away for nine days… Leaving on the 16th for the Dominican Republic with a friend! Unfortunately, no computer access (unless I can sneak down my laptop, working on it). On the bright side, that means everything I am currently doing WILL be updated before I leave! (Including this… again).**


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